Do most women want to be sexually dominated?

what is your experience with this issue?

Comment by Elijah Hamilton on April 22, 2011 at 11:11pm: In almost all cases I've experienced. Most of the women I've been with seem to particularly enjoy being sexually dominated, and I haven't gone out of my way to seek those type of women. I'm starting to think it's almost all women. I'd be interested in hearing the input of the women on this board.

Comment by Nancy Salinas on April 23, 2011 at 12:03am: The neuroscientists should consult the mathematicians about using the word, MOST, in a sentence. They couldn't have possibly interviewed ALL women to deduce that MOST women want anything.
My personal answer to the question: Nonsense.

Comment by Elijah Hamilton on April 23, 2011 at 12:11am: @Nancy - The way the word "most" is determined is by getting a large enough sample of women from various backgrounds,etc. in order to make a relatively accurate generalization. There are fields of study dedicated to ensuring that research is conducted accurately and to minimize bias.

Comment by Beverly Keyes Taylor on April 23, 2011 at 1:12am: I think the word "dominated" is a poor choice and conveys a somewhat inaccurate concept as it insinuates something else.

The more a woman's oxytocin is increased before sex, during sex and during climax, the more outstanding the experience is for the woman (meaning a blissful heaven that may include many multiple orgasms). For her oxytocin to increase the most, it is when she relaxes and lets the man pleasure her and, in essence, take charge. She receives (which increases her oxytocin) and responds with sounds to let the man know when he is pleasuring her. Whoever does the 'receiving', gets more oxytocin, while whoever does the 'giving', taking charge, and making it happen, gets more testosterone. As men's bodies essentially crave testosterone and women's bodies crave oxytocin, then typically each will prefer the action that creates their hormone of choice. They may switch at times for variety, but normally will go for their preferred hormone. Therefore, generally a woman's body will prefer to receive and the man's body will prefer to give. So I would replace the word 'dominated' with the man taking charge and the woman receiving.

Comment by Jeanne Mitchell on April 23, 2011 at 4:28am: I agree with the concern of the use of the term "most". I only know about myself, since "most" women I know DO NOT discuss intimate details in group settings, or even one on one. I do not want domination by anyone in ANY situation, BUT, I do want equal participation. It is a terrible feeling to be the one always initiating sex and it would be wonderful to be desired to the point where it was requested instead of asked for. Female egos are as fragile as male where sex is concerned, especially as one ages. When there is no one else taking the more dominant role, the person always requesting begins to feel unattractive and unwanted in the physical sense and begins to withdraw. I do believe that women do want a sexual partner to be more dominant in the area of desire...to initiate ...and to actually take charge at times and let her know she is wanted, but complete domination...NO!!!!

Comment by Jannike Nordensson on April 23, 2011 at 4:33am: Personally I prefer men who know what they want, if that should be labelled dominance, I don't know. But somebody who is secure in his manhood is attractive. Living in Sweden - a nation obsessed with equality (since the 1930's) on all levels, were talking about differences between the sexes are like swearing in church, it is hard finding "real" men. They have been drown in ostrogene since childhood :)

So from what I have heard, quite a few of the radical feminsts here in the Nordic region, end up hooking-up with real macho-men from Argentina... I think it all comes down to balance.

Comment by Sophia Jean Hawes on April 23, 2011 at 10:06am: I have often wondered why I fantasize about being dominated, even though I still suffer from occasional PTSD from a situation where I was taken advantage of in a very dominant manner.

I have found that there is an extreme difference of pleasure between fantasy and reality. If I am sexually dominated in my fantasies, I am still ultimately in control of the situation, because I can exit the fantasy at any point.On the other hand in reality there is no escape from the situation; the anxiety--the fear--of not knowing what is going to happen to you shuts down any enjoyment with only thoughts of getting out of the situation and staying alive. I have never respected or continued a relationship with any man who insisted on sexual dominance.

I try to think of this seeming contradiction as the fact that my willingness to be submissive is limited to only the physically intimate part of a relationship with someone that I know I can trust with my body. I don't mind being led by someone I know is gentle but instinct kicks in when they are not.

Comment by Greg Marcinko on April 23, 2011 at 10:36am: Hi Louann,

Since I am a male I give any feedback but I have sent an email to my friends d-list sharing this with them as well as inviting them to the board. I'l post any feedback I receive.

I'd be interested to see any more info on their studies.

Greg

Comment by Nancy Salinas on April 23, 2011 at 12:58pm: @Elijah: I know. And yet, allowing for the law of large numbers, just because it's "research" doesn't ensure that it will not result in little more than a sweeping generalization. Were my social circle the control group, their answer would be different. The women who responded objecting to the word "dominate" were more accurate. The women I know want a man to be a man but not a control freak or a freak in any sense, for that matter. I just wrote an action adventure novel dispelling the myth created by one of these ridiculous studies done by men...for men? :)

Comment by mary sherman on April 23, 2011 at 2:06pm: Hi Louann,

I personally prefer a true meeting of equals, each giving fully. I think I would resent anyone trying to dominate me.

xom

Comment