Human males and sexual restraint?

[LOUANN BRIZENDINE]

What do you all think? I find it curious that the examples of lack of retraint by powerful men this past week are such a big surprise to anyone. (That doesn't mean they should get away with it or be able to abuse women in this way or that as a society we shouldn't have laws and punishments for those who violate--no matter how powerful)-- but is this really a surprise to anyone?

[Joel Slater]

I think usually these types of men are not used to needing to show restraint as many women will either grant their desires with a range from ya me too, to feeling very pressured in one way or another-but not physically.  I guess I am a little surprised that someone like the French guy (if story is true) would leap naked out of a bathroom and attack her. That is very lame and uncool, and very un-French like.  So I am not surprised by the lack of restraint including any amount of pressuring-but rape with all its potential consequences-I am surprised.  In short Arnold-not surprised.  French Dude-surprised.

[Lewis Blevins]

It seems clear that, though I liked him, the man in question in CA politics was not in control of his desires.   Is he a classic insecure narcissist?   Remember all the body building, photos, acting, then power in the political arena? Or, was he a normal man who got caught up in the passionate moment and took advantage of an opportunity.   Aren't we smart enough to prevent pregnancy these days?  And even 10 years ago?   And what about the child...his children....their future relationships based on this happenstance?   Sex causes trouble...but it creates life.....and makes the world go round.  Couples should focus on their communication skills, including their non-verbal communication skills, like sexuality and other forms of intimacy, and then we'd see less of this sort of thing.

[LOUANN BRIZENDINE]

It seems that there is a correlation between being a grandiose narcissist and a powerful politician. After all, what does it take to stand up in public day after day proclaiming how great you are and how nobody else could do the job like you could? Politicians and Wall Street moguls seem to truly believe the rules of civilized behavior, even the laws of the land, do not apply to them--and only too often they don't. I was listening to NPR today and heard that Mormons actively teach their teen boys to just 'not think about sex urges'.

[Elfriede Ammann]

http://de.spiritualwiki.org/Wiki/Narzissmus#toc11     

Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) – developed by Pinsky and YoungScoring 200 US based undisclosed celebrities

Average score for celebrities: 17.8

General population: Men are more likely than women to evince narcissistic traits.

Celebrities: Females [i.e. party girls] are more narcissistic than their male counterparts.

http://de.spiritualwiki.org/Wiki/Fuehren#toc38 

Five types of clusterings in companies and society – David Logan Ph.D.

i place male CEOs in the top range of group 3 shown by David Logan.

their achievement in status, money, power is at the top of the heap -- and it is non-integrous.
it eats from the greater good by upholding a rankist paradigm. it can wreak havoc, trigger the highest damage.

"Eight years ago I was dragged scowling and complaining into an investigation of allegations that Arnold Schwarzenegger -- the leading candidate for governor of California -- had sexually harassed and molested women, including those who worked on his movies."

journalist Tracy Weber knew the abuse all along, but there was a joint unwillingness (fear, shame, programming) to speak out and to face the counter memes within a misogynistic society.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/propublica/when-powerful-men-cross-l_...   When Powerful Men Cross Lines: Schwarzenegger and DSK  Huff Post 19. May 2011

[LOUANN BRIZENDINE]

I agree with Elfriede who says too that: 'i place male CEOs in the top range of group 3 shown by David Logan'...and

"DSK has stepped down from from his position as the leader of the IMF. he knew that his achilles heel is his misogyny (i.e. so-called crimes of passion).
Mubarak is about to issue an apology (to safe whatever).
Ex governator Schwarzenegger apologized to his wife and family (again not to his maid).
Tiger Woods apologized in public to his wife (not to his playmates).
the times of misogyny and outright rankism (here narcissism) are coming to an end." yes, hear hear!

[LOUANN BRIZENDINE]

good stuff today from Ben Carey..."...Power can blind people to the emotions of those around them and lead to “objectifying others in a self-interested way,” the authors concluded.

“If the person has this sense of superiority, and they’ve gotten away with these kinds of things before, they begin to think that the risk-reward ratio that applies to everyone else doesn’t apply to them because they’re so special,” said Samuel Barondes, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, and author of the forthcoming, “Making Sense of People.” “It’s hard for people who don’t think that way about themselves to believe that anyone else really does. But they do.”

In a survey of young men, Dr. Levant found that attitudes toward sex were far less defined by locker-room culture than commonly assumed. Responses varied widely but on average the participants agreed that a man “should love his sex partner,” that he should “have to worry about birth control,” and that he shouldn’t “always have to take the initiative when it comes to sex.” These and other, similar findings seem only mildly surprising, until placed in a larger context. For most of human history, men have treated women much as they pleased, and powerful men routinely collected wives and lovers, feeling free to maim or kill those who offended...."...

[Elfriede Ammann]

thanks, Louann,
your source is from NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/22/weekinreview/22carey.html "A Sexist Pig Myth The New York Times", by Benedict Carey, 21 May 2011

re Dr. Levant: "For most of human history, men have treated women much as they pleased, and powerful men routinely collected wives and lovers, feeling free to maim or kill those who offended."
Dr. Warren Farrell (feminist and masculinist) dates the killer (rankist-rapist) dominator male back 50,000 years (which seems awfully long.) others say 5-6,000 years. the men of the FUTURE started to emerge since the 50ties.
http://de.spiritualwiki.org/Wiki/Maennerliteratur#toc9  Quotes by Dr. Warren Farrell, pmen's movement

Empircal study on the shifting of the roles of men and women – Germany 2009
http://de.spiritualwiki.org/Wiki/Genderforschung#toc16
the new communicative-nurturing-balanced men are emerging. 19% men vs. 32% women status 2009
and the killer males are receding, 30% of them are augmenting the violence factor when faced with the shrinking of their range of influence.

[frustrated1]

I do not think it curious at all. Society has given these men free reign through out history it is just as we grow that it is becoming more obvious and hopefully we will put an end to this kind of abuse. I like to think i am a good man and definitely would never abuse a woman or anyone for that matter. I find it amazing as i watch the women i know make the decisions for dates or mates and i wonder why they decide to go out with the abusive ones who are clearly dominate in public and dangerous in my eyes. Assuming i ever find a companion i believe that being equal is the key to a good relationship and there is a time and place for the male to be dominate. We in this evolving world need to let people know it is unacceptable to abuse women. The statistics for prosecution for sexual assault are staggering women seem to still be blamed for this and i find that curious. When we start taking appropriate action towards the men who do this then maybe the point will get across until then the pattern will continue.

[LOUANN BRIZENDINE]

The big difference between the French guy--at least what he is accused of--and Arnold is that the sex was supposedly consensual with Arnold and the house-staff member...

[Elfriede Ammann]

http://abcnews.go.com/US/video/perils-sex-power-13668623 
The Perils of Sex and Power
DSK's and Arnold Schwarzenegger's scandals shed light on psyche of powerful men. 23 May 2011
hubris is prevalent in both cases.
we are all due the same dignity.