Dr Louann author of The Female Brain

Triangulation: A New Dad's Best Strategy To Win Back A New Mom?

After orienting 300,000+ rookie dads-to-be over 22 years in Daddy Boot Camp, with 50,000+ veterans assisting (the real experts on new dads - rookies who return with their 3-6 month old babies), reading The Female Brain and The Male Brain was amazing. It helped explain the core issues faced by new dads, did so without spinning the results in terms of gender neutrality (i.e., men bring nothing unique to the table as dads), and opened the door to us rational men "fixing the problems" experienced by so many moms (68% of stay at home moms are upset with dad over housework, which might have something to do with why 2/3rds of marriages suffer after Junior shows up).

Bottom line - if the oxytocin generated in new moms and dads by each other and their new baby in the draft profile below is remotely accurate, new dads should plan on being dumped by mom, and respond by getting hands on with his baby for oxytocin replacement therapy and to induce mom to fall in love with the new guy in her life whom her baby idolizes. Classic triangulation by dad. Question - Does any of this make sense and is the oxytocin profile in the ballpark of reality? BTW, we are launching Boot Camp for New Moms and they are fascinated with mommy brain info.

Copyright 2012 Dads Adventure

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Comment by LOUANN BRIZENDINE on May 28, 2012 at 1:29pm

SO glad you liked THE FEMALE BRAIN and THE MALE BRAIN! And, Yes indeed Greg, this is all in the ballpark of possibility vis a vis oxytocin since it IS released from light stroking and touch--like moms automatically do to the head and arms and hands of the baby--Dads should watch and imitate that slow stroking...for maximal oxytocin release. And dads are SO important in the first 6 weeks--i wish we could give all dads 6 weeks of paternity leave--it would pay big dividends to the baby brains and our next generation of workforce :) PS I am launching a new MOMS PROGRAM in 2014 at UCSF, i am out fundraising for it now since it takes some s='seed money' these days to start anything new at the University--especially like this one which merges the OB-GYN, Pediatrics and Psychiatry folks together in one program--would LOVE to have your thoughts on adding the DADS PROGRAM to it. Your work is terrific--and so very important...keeping dad-in-the-game and not having him feel excluded/dumped is THE KEY.

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